I am Thankful to be a Fishhead

Thanksgiving week is upon us once again, and at first glance, it appears the only thing to give thanks for is having a full day off with family to cook a real meal, watch football and generally loll around.
But there is much more I am thankful for...
I am thankful for finally electing someone as President who will tell the truth and work to better us all.
And I am thankful that I still have a job, even if I am not making enough money to pay all my bills in one month. Which of course makes me thankful for retirement accounts, and extra stuff I can sell to people who do make enough money to pay their bills, though I will miss that guitar.
And I am thankful that I have three other guitars to comfort me in these lean times, because they make me money, they look very cool in the living room, and they make me feel rich beyond belief.
And I am thankful that my brother is having us over to his house, and that he is doing all the cooking, so my kitchen won't be all screwed up for weeks afterward. And yes, I don't clean up real often, so I am also thankful that I could give a shit if you think that is slothfull.
And I am thankful that in fact my brother is buying a turkey that is fully prepared and cooked because he is an absolutely dreadful chef, so the meal will be good, and my kitchen will still be clean.
And I am thankful that I have some of the most talented and seriously twisted friends to play music with in no less than 4 different groups over the holidays which means I can actually buy some Christmas presents and get paid to party and jam and eat free food and drink free liquor and make really loud but bitching noise with three guitars, a drumset with my new Swiss Paiste cymbals, and of course my treasured congas. So to those of you who thought being in the band in high school was nerdy, go fuck yourself.
And I am thankful that I am a Fishhead. And not just any Fishhead, but one of the founding members of the "Joe Willy, Neckbone and the Fishheads" Fishhead! It means I am certified by the Guild of Working Blues Musicians to sing about dirty stuff, marital discord, drunken and disorderly behavior and jailtime in front of anyone I want, get paid for it, and do it over a microphone at loud volume so they cannot miss the nasty words I am singing.
And I am thankful that lately, the only time I have been in a courthouse was for jury duty.
And I am thankful that my dog Dizzy is absolutley ecstatic if I just come through the front door, regardless of what time or day it is, or what mood I am in. In fact, if I am drunk, he is even happier and thinks it is really funny and we must be paying a new game if I start knocking stuff over. Of course this game can turn really bad if he gets spooked by something I do and he bolts out the front door as it is ususlly late at night and very dark and he is pitch black and intent on being as far aaway from the house as he can be in a New York minute.
And I am thankful that I work for a Ford dealership and not a GM dealer so that there is some chance I will still have a job after the first of the year.
And I am thankful that Sarah Palin has continued to prove just how crazy funny she is by pardoning a turkey and then giving an interview while two of the freed turkey's friends and probable family members are butchered and exsanguinated by being crammed in large funnels covered in the blood of all those who preceeded them directly behind Sarah while she discussed how lucky she was to be there. Makes you wonder if she even wastes her time cooking the turkey dinner on Thanksgiving, or just rips the live bird apart with her bare hands and eats the entrails and heart while still warm and pulsing before she heads out on the tundra to beat some baby seals and have monkey sex with a grizzly bear. What a girl!
And I am thankful that the Swedes are such good engineers so that my two 1993 Volvo's with over 400K miles between them both run and I can flip the bird to anybody who has to make a car payment.
And I am thankful that I live in a country that allows me to write this drivel without immediately being run in for any number of trumped up charges only to have my head cut off like one of Sara's turkeys.
And I am supremely thankful that I am not conflicted with traditional religious values that would make me crazy with guilt and rancor and a phantasmagorical belief that something happens after I am gone, because I absolutely hate to leave a party and I would be very pissed to die expecting some nirvana only to find a complete void. Especially if I had been getting up and getting dressed to be social and nice at church on Sunday mornings with people I found to be shallow and hypocritical when I could have been sleeping in and watching Meet the Press before football.
So, thanks to my friends, thanks to most of my family, and thanks to me.